Sunday, January 29, 2006

Pot Butter Recipe

1 ounce of Herb
1 quart of Water
2 sticks of Butter

Take leaf matter and grind it in a coffee bean grinder until powdery. Add the herb to the water and simmer for 10 minutes. Add butter and continue to cook on the lowest setting for 30-60 minutes. The longer the stronger, try not to have it boiling, simmer maximum. If you run low on water add more.
The measurements above are flexible. If your herb sucks double the herb amount, if you want a stronger butter reduce the butter amount and/or add more herb. Water is there just to soften up the herb and to keep things from burning. Always err on the side of too much water versus too little.
I strain through cheesecloth to get the herb out but sometimes I'll leave it all in together, especially when it's used to make brownies. I'll even use the water, although I'm sure if it has anything significant!
Be careful, it's a full body high and usually creeper, I've been known to lick the batter in the bowl of brownies and by the time there were done I was too high to eat them!

Friday, January 27, 2006

Too High

Back to the same habit of taking bonghits until I feel too high to smoke more. And I happen to smoke the creeper Nor Cal bud. I swear one moment I'm thinking the herb's been keefed, the next I can't figure out how long I've been looking for something so intently, that I forget altogether what it was I was looking for!?! What was my story I wanted to blog about?!?!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Buddha Butta

Attachment, that is what it is. I leave a conference early so I can go home and eat butter and calm the nerves of my impatient self. I don't need eurythmy, I need an ice col' BT, even the traveling Monk brought about great anxiety which resulted in a chunk of butter getting sandwiched between Oreos. Couple hits of Visine, I was soon able to look as if I've lived in India all my life. And the madness of work bringing about sobriety on the stoniest days, just to get the work done I celebrate and burn another one. And when I wake up in he middle of the night and ramble along, I finish the roach and unload the head full of ideas. Attached I am, is their more than one way to reach Nirvana? Can we Lobsang, obtain merits by obtaining happiness through your attachment? Which gives out first your lungs or liver? Doesn't matter because one minute of fear is 60 seconds of happiness lost.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Trader Joes or Satan?

I successfully stayed high the entire three day weekday. I celebrated my wife's birthday on Saturday, went sledding in the snow the next day, and by day three I was living off herb, green tea and left over birthday desserts. Word of caution do not go into Trader Joes while really high. The intent was to pick out a dessert for a birthday, I left with five different boxes of desserts! So here I was macking on cheesecake, I had just finished smoking an entire joint of green bud, listening to my radio station and then I had to crack up as some Christmas tune came on. I thought, this is pathetic, I'll been eating Trader Joes frozen food and desserts for the last five days, I've been high for much longer and now, I can understand how people "find" Jesus. Fortunately the song changed to "king of the road" and I got over it and kept eating cheesecake.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Green Butter

Ganja butter. I've heard of putting into a brownie mix, spreading it on toast or getting creative with Goo balls. But straight up?!?! It's unheard of and it's ludicrous, until now. Ladies and Gentlemen, since my return from vacation I have been hitting the ganja butter. Not exactly straight up, I prefer the butter sanwiched between two chunks of chocolate (Ganja Truffle?), but I've hit it with just a banana, or a muffin, and even have tried it with tortilla chips! No matter how you eat it, you get the same results, perm-a-grin for five hours with one hell of an appetite. It feels a lot like the effects of bhang but without all the preparation, just break off a chunk and find an accompaniment. It's just that easy.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Little blurb on herb, no thrills with pills

I agree with Drug User, those pills were curiously strong. I purposely give them away so that my supply isn't great enough for me to either OD or get hooked. I too prefer smoking herb over everything, Oding on herb impossible,...I've tried and tried but it just doesn't happen. Last weekend I ate this potent herb butter which had me down for seven hours! But I'm still here to tell you about it. I also feel weird, giving away pills, because I somehow have a sense of liability, but I do it anyways because I hate to see any mind altering drug go to waste. In Thailand, I gobbled the pills down because they were legal and was a nice way to start the day off, it would keep me high until it was late enough to drink (anytime past noon). Now I'm back home, it's ice cold bong hits and butter chunks. And while it interferes with my work, it's meant to do so, otherwise I would come home after working 9 straight hours, and do more work at home. Last night I spent the whole evening playing with my kids, having fun and laughing hard,....I could have been sober, demanding to work and not be interrupted while my children grew to be men.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

10 Minute Tango with Ativan

The night before last, I ended up getting something like two hours sleep, due in part to getting my new satellite radio. So yesterday I was beat. Not only that, but I was starving and needed some serious sleep. JahJah sent me some of these pills that he was prescribed about a month ago. I hadn't really had a chance to test drive them yet so I thought I would take the opportunity to sample these babies and put them to the test while I cooked dinner. The doseage to take is one, so I took two just to make sure it worked. So I'm standing there chopping my vegetables and all of a sudden I'm starting to feel kinda spacey. Then the spacey turns to a wobbly feeling and within seconds I AM FUCKED UP!!! I can barely finish making dinner I'm so fucked up. I know I need to eat, especially when I took those pills on an empty stomach. My breathing is shallow and my eyes want to close like 5Lb weights are tied to my lids. Worried, I went into the living room and ran in place for a few seconds then went back into the kitchen and slapped my face, keeping me awake long enough to finish my cooking. As I began to chew the food, I realized, as I went through the motions of swallowing said food, I found I couldn't. It was like that muscular function was disconnected. I panicked as I started to choke on the food. Concentrate, concentrate!! I grasped the water on the table and chugged it, hoping that it would loosen the food in my throat. It did... I lived. After dinner I immediately and sluggishly walked as I melted into my bed. Within an hour of taking those pills I was gone. They were so potent that I even left the pills out on the bathroom sink in case I keeled over. Those damn pills are dangerously evil.

Tonight I smoked a bowl and knew I would be safe. Safer than all the beers, wine, brandy, bourbon, absinthe, champagne and other crap the holiday excess inspires. Prescription drugs kill. Legalize weed now.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Karmic Ride

Sobriety is such a labor during the weekends. With my new found butter chunks adventures, I successfully ate ganja butter with carrot cake at 8:30 am and stayed high until 4:19pm. Tough call to make a minute later. I went out to a harmonica blow out show at Sierra Nevada. One would think I ate more butter before the show. Instead I drank a strong Earl Grey with tons of cream and sugar and took a cold shower just to sober up. My boss gifted me these tickets to a show that sounded stupid from the start. He was saving me a place at his table so I couldn't really get high. Instead I hit the local brew, Sierra Nevada. No matter how much I drank the music didn't get better,...I concluded that I do not like the blues, especially the blues harmonica. None the less, it was a gift and I made the most of it, copping a sleeply beer buzz and hitting the bong hard upon my return home. I just can't take the sobriety, it leads towards obsessive complusivity and/or just grumpiness. Right on, too high to type more.

Saturday, January 07, 2006


You know it was quite an experiment to send me to a stress free over the top vacation in Asia,...without herb. I drank like a fish and loved it. I returned home and haven't had a drink since. I only craved a glass of cool crisp chardonnay once since my return. In the meantime, I hit the website to see which shows I missed downloading while on my vacation. My wife was certain that I was going to hit the herb first thing. When she shared her thought, I thought, you're right, but I couldn't see going out to a cold dark garage at 1am to look for the box of goodies I packed away prior to the trip. I did recall the curiously strong herb butter I made prior to the trip. I sandwiched a slab of butter with some chocolate and munched it down. It was smooth and rich, definitely ganja butter overtones. The high was outstanding, I could never ride it out though, the butter would put me right out. This became an important discovery,... a cure for jet lag! I continued the use of the butter chunks, not even bothering to thaw it out, just straight up curiously strong green butter chunks! Chocolate was nice but it worked just as well with bread and carrot cake! Thanks to the butter chunks, I have been in the best moods despite the harsh work transition, vicious jet lag, and cold wet weather! I feel totally replenished, I can smell the THC in my fat cells!

Monday, January 02, 2006


I make a couple New Year resolutions each year, knowing that I'll break a few within the first week and if I'm lucky, I'll succeed in a few. For 2005, I was able to eliminate coffee and stop driving with an open container. For 2006, I decided to make a connection with a child everyday, in a way that shows reverence towards children.
The other resolution takes some explaining.
We had been sailing all day in the tropical sun, I took a couple sleeping/pain pills to get me started and I figured they may help with sea sickness given the downer effect Dramamine has. We land at a secluded beach, only to have the white linen lunch experience. Here are Thai guys all slicked out, serving up shrimp and lobster along with fried rice and papaya salad. As I approach the set up, they offer me a cold beer which I welcome. Then my sister in law offers me her cold beer because they are serving wine in real glasses! I'm also excited about having cold wine in real glasses, eating lobster on a deserted white sand beach, so I pound both beers and grab a wine glass. I instruct the server that I prefer my wine to be filled to the top of the glass, not half way, as I was feeling indestructible having pounded the beer. The wine was delicious and within a very short time I drank nearly a whole bottle within a short period of time. I was out there "watching" my child in the gentle surf while holding onto my wine glass. Occasionally a wave would come in and I would choose to save the wine glass over my child who would get knocked down and dunked by the surf. While that sounds terrible, by this time I wasn't really aware, nor cared, I was hitting that place where I was hanging onto a thread of reality.
It just got weird from then on. A local boat sank just like that and the wooden handcarved paddles washed up on the beach. I decided I wanted to keep them as a souvenir, and I remember putting them into the dingy. However, during the ride I was getting silly with the bumpy ride that I almost fell out I got parallel with the water as the rest of my family members grabbed me and pulled me back onto the boat. Then we returned to the point of departure and I got back into the dingy, only to feel a rush of sudden nausea. I start throwing up, as we approach this pier. I later blamed it on getting sea sick, along with eating lobster which I never really eat and is very rich on the system. I proved my theory by drinking two additional strawberry daiquiris upon getting to land. As we got to the pier I remember seeing this guy which his mask and snorkel wanting to go in, but here I was chumming the water in the nastiest way. The guy was none other than Kevin Bacon, Mr. Footloose himself! Now that is a claim to fame, I puked in front of Kevin Bacon. My kids have seen me puke before but, Kevin Bacon who decided not to snorkel afterall, that's a real accomplishment!
I know I don't do so well with alcohol, and while I considered giving up alcohol for a year I thought that would be just too unrealistic. I came up with a modified version similar to last year's don't drive with an open container (That was a modification of don't drink and drive). The resolution, don't find yourself drinking so much that you puke. Certainly when I return to work and the topic of resolutions come up, I'll share the first one but keep the second one to myself. As for the paddles, they are left in a shroud of mystery,...I never saw them again nor did I confirm with anyone else that indeed a local boat did sink, was it real, did it happen? I'll never really know.