Monday, January 02, 2006


I make a couple New Year resolutions each year, knowing that I'll break a few within the first week and if I'm lucky, I'll succeed in a few. For 2005, I was able to eliminate coffee and stop driving with an open container. For 2006, I decided to make a connection with a child everyday, in a way that shows reverence towards children.
The other resolution takes some explaining.
We had been sailing all day in the tropical sun, I took a couple sleeping/pain pills to get me started and I figured they may help with sea sickness given the downer effect Dramamine has. We land at a secluded beach, only to have the white linen lunch experience. Here are Thai guys all slicked out, serving up shrimp and lobster along with fried rice and papaya salad. As I approach the set up, they offer me a cold beer which I welcome. Then my sister in law offers me her cold beer because they are serving wine in real glasses! I'm also excited about having cold wine in real glasses, eating lobster on a deserted white sand beach, so I pound both beers and grab a wine glass. I instruct the server that I prefer my wine to be filled to the top of the glass, not half way, as I was feeling indestructible having pounded the beer. The wine was delicious and within a very short time I drank nearly a whole bottle within a short period of time. I was out there "watching" my child in the gentle surf while holding onto my wine glass. Occasionally a wave would come in and I would choose to save the wine glass over my child who would get knocked down and dunked by the surf. While that sounds terrible, by this time I wasn't really aware, nor cared, I was hitting that place where I was hanging onto a thread of reality.
It just got weird from then on. A local boat sank just like that and the wooden handcarved paddles washed up on the beach. I decided I wanted to keep them as a souvenir, and I remember putting them into the dingy. However, during the ride I was getting silly with the bumpy ride that I almost fell out I got parallel with the water as the rest of my family members grabbed me and pulled me back onto the boat. Then we returned to the point of departure and I got back into the dingy, only to feel a rush of sudden nausea. I start throwing up, as we approach this pier. I later blamed it on getting sea sick, along with eating lobster which I never really eat and is very rich on the system. I proved my theory by drinking two additional strawberry daiquiris upon getting to land. As we got to the pier I remember seeing this guy which his mask and snorkel wanting to go in, but here I was chumming the water in the nastiest way. The guy was none other than Kevin Bacon, Mr. Footloose himself! Now that is a claim to fame, I puked in front of Kevin Bacon. My kids have seen me puke before but, Kevin Bacon who decided not to snorkel afterall, that's a real accomplishment!
I know I don't do so well with alcohol, and while I considered giving up alcohol for a year I thought that would be just too unrealistic. I came up with a modified version similar to last year's don't drive with an open container (That was a modification of don't drink and drive). The resolution, don't find yourself drinking so much that you puke. Certainly when I return to work and the topic of resolutions come up, I'll share the first one but keep the second one to myself. As for the paddles, they are left in a shroud of mystery,...I never saw them again nor did I confirm with anyone else that indeed a local boat did sink, was it real, did it happen? I'll never really know.


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