Well the First Days are the Hardest Days

I realized, despite the high ambitions of going sober and without herb, it's just not a practical reality. I've been using herb daily since roughly 1985,...that's twenty years! Some of those years I would count as using hourly, not just daily and then of course there was two significant phases of sobriety,...trying to get a job in Oregon where I thought for sure they would test me and when I got a job and they asked me to simply sign a paper saying that I was drug-free, boy was I pissed (no pun intended). Then after Brent from the Grateful Dead died and they ended up with what's his face, Vince and the tunes like Long Way to Go Home and Samba in the Rain, I decided that the Dead contributed to my drug use and since they were at the time sucking even on drugs, I took a break from both and skipped out on the 91' West Coast tour.
So I rationalized to partake every other day, as a start,..really that in itself is a difficult feat, especially on those days I refrain.
On the flipside all this herbal brain food I've been taking has made a difference in my ability to cognitively redefine life itself. I've gone from Tigger to Pooh. And on a funny note, I have a phone consultation with a doctor who once was Jerry Garcia's doctor. It's funny because I can tell him the truth and he won't be all bad trippin' the herb, I wonder how I square up ole' Jerry. Sure does put things in perspective, give me five I'm still alive, ain't no luck learn to duck.