Strugglin' Man

I'm a strugglin' man and I've got to move on,......but what happens when you are sitting on a half ounce of kind bud and choose to take a break? I can't take knowing that I have all this herb as I'm trying to not get high, it's torture!! I know herb is not physically addictive but I simply cannot sleep without and I can't stop thinking about what shall I do with my current herb stash. Bottomline, it's easier to quit when you are out and have no smoking utinsils. How did I get to this place? I'm just miserable. I think I remember this feeling when I stopped 6 and a half years ago. Of course, after I realized that I wasn't going to get drug tested, I still got high now and then but pretty much stopped for a few months. I thought about smoking the entire amount in one sitting like what I've heard people do to kids when they get caught smoking cigarettes. It would be a challenge even for a pro like me. Of course I could blend it all up and make one batch of Bhang and/or brownies. I would probably just get so high that I would fall asleep and stay asleep for a day or two. Then I think of all those jonesers right now wishing they had just one bonghit, and all my friends who would surely take this heavy load of me. The more I talk about it the more I just want to say,...excuse me while I light my sliff, ohhh man I've gotta take a lift,...although if I could sleep tonight it would represent a completely sober day,...I guess since it's 12:30am I technically spent my first day sober in over years! Let's celebrate! Where's the bong!?!