Muffin a Day

By the time I successfully arrived in Kauai, I had exactly 7 muffins left,....a muffin a day I thought. However, by the sixth day I realized that I must have consumed a tad more than a muffin a day. I had the crumbs of about one more muffin left and two days left. I decided to save it for the last day which made me go sober for the entire day. At sunset, I saw two guys smoking a bowl at the beach and I quickly explained my story about being a user, being sketched going through the airport, and jonesing for a hit of herb. I was jonesing but I didn't tell them that I had been stoned 24/7 on mighty muffins that would keep you high all day. Needless to say the karma caught up with me, as they politely said,"we just finished the last of our herb." That made me jones even more! By the time we got back into town we stopped to eat and ordered a Mai Tai for the sake that I was needing a break from being sober. It was the first alcohol of the summer, and when I took my first sip it was so strong that I couldn't drink it,...yes that's right too strong! Was it really too strong or was it my soberity with alcohol? I never complianed that a drink was too strong but this was the turning point for me. I'm done with it, I asked the waitress to pour out half and fill with pineapple juice but she never brought another one back and I was more than satisfied.
The last day I offered a bit of muffin to my wife who swore off ganja food after eating some of my brownies in Tahoe,...it really was only a half of brownie but it sure did get her there and beyond, she ended up puking like a frat boy. Anyhow she took a pinch and claims that she was stoned all day,...me on the otherhand ate what seemed like more than a muffin, as a result I remained perfectly baked snokeling and building sand castles all day.
It was a kind of day where you would say "sunglasses" over and over again until you got them otherwise you would forget why you left the water to go up to your backpack on the beach. And from the time it took to zip up a backpack,...you could successfully lose them. I figured if those were my greatest stressors of the day then I was doing pretty good.