Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Explosive Muffins

It seemed back in the day I was always going through airport security with herb and a pipe,...I even recall smoking a bowl in an airplane bathroom that had a smoke alarm! (Just exhale through the sink drain which has an amazing amount of suction!). Nowadays I'm paranoid, is it a function of getting older? Having more to lose? or is it the fucked up Federal Government and their TSA bullshit which essentially gives them the right to look for anything and be rude all at the same time. SO when I decided to make brownies for my trip I got to thinking perhaps they look too much like plastic explosives while being xrayed, and then when they discover brownies on a flight to Kauai they put two and two together and boom I'm busted. SO I tried RaisinBran Ganja Muffins, Pot brownies sure, but pot muffins,...unheard of. I labeled it "wheatfree" so I would be able to explain that I needed them for a snack and that I had wheat allergies. Well just in case I did get busted or they took them I decided to eat a couple muffins prior to the airport. By the time we hit the airport security I was going in slow motion with my wife having to do all the talking. Approaching the checkpoint I had a flashback from the movie, "Midnight Express." I then thought about the night before when my wife talked me out of bring five fat joints in the luggage. My habit had been magnified,...I didn't want to spend seven days in Kauai without herb. I then said to my wife,..perhaps this trip I can clean out a little and go straight? She smiled and said, "hell no! I may be the classic enabler but I do not want to hang around you when you are such a natural type A testoserone driven asshole!" I agreed, I didn't like myself in that condition either, so we compromised with the muffins.


Post a Comment

<< Home