Sunday, February 27, 2005

One Good Thing About Music-When It Hits You Feel No Pain

Bubba good for you. I always think that when my addiction costs me my job and family then perhaps I'll give it up. I tried once before to say that I've been there done that, and I must say it made me feel good that I was in control, but I found myself cheating now and again feeling guilty feeling bad, and then I just said fuck it, this is who I am besides I'm nicer to get along with while intoxicated. I felt your quote, "we were all kids once,.." terribly piercing to the soul. I often wonder if my addictive personality is a result of disposition or role modeling or painful memories trying to keep down,...probably them all! I often wonder about my impact as a role model for my family. My nephew the otherday said, "my teacher doesn't drink." I thought yeah right they are just saying that to look good. Then he went on,"and he is a guy!" I told him to tell his teacher that "my uncle worries about people like that!" probably not the right message to send your nephew whose only male role model besides his teacher is me, who had to take his herb and pipe with him to work the whole week in order to be nice and baked by the time I got home in order to cope with the demands of children! My youngest child is way demanding on my beers that I now have to drink them out of a glass because he recognizes the bottle. And what about the behavior of you want it,...?!?!....we'll buy it,...fuck waiting until Christmas Birthday, hell everyday is a celebration,...will that lead towards having a spoiled kid or the persuit of the eternal high?!?! Let's not think about all that right now,'s 6:52 am and I'm going out to my car to start the day by getting high!


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