A broken wagon

It's been awhile. There's a point of saturation that everyone reaches where they top out, burn out and retreat. At least that's how I see it in my world - spoken from the point of view from someone who has A.D.D. tendencies. Basically I've been too busy to post. It's not like I haven't been doing drugs or drinking or smoking but it's that I haven't found time to log it in. Coupled with the fact I am questioning my own ability to actually quit these substances, during a period when I am trying to acheive my goals. My meticulous attention to detail hasn't gone ignored, however. Just because my abuse isn't online right now, it doesn't mean that I haven't been taking notes... I'm still a keen observer of my own abuse as it's not something I wish to continue until the end of my days. Yes many of my heroes took copious amounts of drugs to break through the barriers of homogenized society. And yes, they have been role models and inspirations at many times in my life, much like what JahJahFue had mentioned. There are too many to list as inspirations. They line the shelves of City Lights Bookstore, they line the walls of museums and they fill the cemetaries around the world. Regardless of trying to get on the proverbial wagon, I'm finding the wagon that is supposed take me back to the innocence of my childhood is broken. In the meantime, while I take the wagon in to be worked on, just sit back and observe the intake during my absence.

01.14.05
1 bottle of wine

01.15.05
2.5 22oz Sapporos
3 shots of saki
2 shots of whiskey

01.16.05
1bottle of wine
4 shots of whiskey

01.21.05
2.5 Sapporos = 619
2 oz Saki = 77
1 glass wine = 170
4 oz whiskey = 277

01.22.05
600 ml wine = 425
1.5 beers = 221
6 oz whiskey = 414
1 margarita = 170

01.23.05
40 oz wine (5 glasses)
2 bong rips

01.27.05
12 oz Sapporo = 135
2 oz whiskey = 158

01.28.05
3 22 oz Sapporo = 743
1 12oz newcastle = 140

01.29.05
40 oz wine (5 glasses/1 bottle) = 850

01.30.05
2 Sapporos = 496
1 Sierra Nevada = 198

01.31.05
2 12 oz beers = 210
2/3 bottle of wine = 850
1 Armingiac = 104

02.03.05
3 gin and tonics = 850

02.04.05
2 Newcastles = 496
40 oz wine (5 glasses/1 bottle) = 850

02.05.05
80 oz wine (10 glasses/2 bottles) = 1700

02.06.05
6 beers = 886

02.10.05
2 22 oz Sapporo = 495

02.11.05
1 Fosters Lager = 247
80 oz wine (2 bottles) = 1700

B-day Weekend
Too much debauchery to record.

02.18.05
1 guiness = 125
40 oz wine (5 glasses/1 bottle) = 850

02.19.05
2 Guinness = 250

I think I'm giving my liver a run for it's money. Now pepper that with some BT's and the last of my vicodin throughout the evenings of drinking. I've even taken the liberty to post the caloric intake for these drinks, as I think it helps a person to actually look at how much useless calories are being consumed.

Anyway, I've got a lot of shit to do so I had better get back to work. I think I may even have a shot for Hunter tonight.

Until the next post...

DU