Spring Break 2005

Friday: Drank a couple beers at a pub prior to getting home, then found myself a victim of this insane happy hour, $1 double wells and it goes up .25 cents each hour. I caught it at $1.25 a drink and blacked out somewhere around $1.50. For starters such a happy hour preys on folks like myself who feel compelled to get a good deal despite knowing that you have already drank too much. My dear wife showed up at the bar to rescue my barfly ass. I asked," How did you know I was here?" She replied, "you called me!" Then it got real fuzzy as I got into the minivan with my two kids and my two visiting nephews. I remember throwing up out the window and then waking up around 5 am with a killer hangover. My wife explained how I threw up repeatedly out the window as we with through the main downtown area where the streets are filled with tourist and students.
Saturday: She said I need to go to counseling or AA so that I do not repeat an incident like that again. I say sure, thinking counseling is a better route as I have a general fear of AA. My sister in law came over to pick up her kids and told me, don't worry we all do that now and again and besides you drank on an empty stomach. I drank a glass of wine with her as she finished off the bottle.
Sunday: I pulled the big bootle of Jagermeister out of the freezer and stored it in my liquor cabinent.
Monday: I boosted to my wife how I haven't drank in a while, she pointed out that it had been 24 hours to be exact. She also pointed out that I had been stoned 24/7, which by my calculations shouldn't count.
Tuesday: I finish work, get high and pack up our family van for the big get away.
Wednesday: I drink Bhang and sample a pot cake I baked for the road, we spend too much time in Trader Joes (a bad place to go if you are way high, have the munchies, and just got paid) and we ended up in a place called Ridgeport.
Thursday: Bhang and cake all day as we soak in Natural Hot Springs and end up in Death Valley, strung out looking for a free place to camp in a Natural Park, which was a challenge and an adventure.
Friday: Wake and bake again with bhang. This time I was scared that it may go bad in the desert so I do what anyone else would do, drink it all, no sense in potentially wasting it. The result was hammering. I was walking out on this salt flat with my two kids feeling floaty and seeing rainbows out of the corners of my eye. It was like those times when you should sit down and collect yourself but you don't because the spacy feeling is so cool that you ride it out standing up and seeing how far you can go. Things appear closer than they really are should be posted everywhere in the desert. We end up way out there, no water, no food and the two boys are getting tired. We make it back an hour or two later to the camp where my wife was just waking up. I'm catching rainbows everywhere by this time and slip into my sunglasses and push on through. We end up rolling down sand hills and climbing through little slot canyons, all while continuing the level of high that I started with.
Saturday: By this time my dear wife is enjoying the solitude of the desert by existing on green tea and "freshies" (Fresh new green bud in a bowl to smoke). Together we reflect upon our lives and marriage. I get to thinking that I could exist without alcohol because I've been high 24/7 for the last 5 days.
Sunday: We wake up to the mighty Eastern Sierras, I gobble up the last piece of ganja cake and we hit the road back home.