Monday, October 17, 2005

Fake Concerns

3 Ounces of bourbon and about a bottle of wine later I sit my ass down to write. I'm definitely drunk. I wouldn't drive a car now, espcially with gas prices the way they are. Now if I were driving a Prius that would be a different story. I would do donuts around the cops. How much fun would that be?

So today I drink because I am weak to experience my emotions unclouded by the fog of alcohol. This is who I am at times. Real. Addicted to intoxication. Looking to bend my brain in different directions. But lately it's been in the same brain-cell extinguishing saturation that I seek day after day. I enjoy it at times and those times I'm not enjoying it, I'm looking forward to enjoying it. Whether that time is merely 24 hours, 12 hours, 2 days... (not these days) or masked in the mere desire to quit because it's good for me. Nah! Not yet...

I'm yawning now. I'm old. One day I'll be taken out back and shot if I already haven't been when I was a child.

Optimistic and infinite...


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