Friday, December 31, 2004

I love these blogs

Happy New Year to my fellow Bloggers & anyone else reading these confessions.

What's that you ask? You ask what am I doing tonight here in New York City???

Answer: I don't know

I'm not really in the mood for parties (or even drinking - wow).
Why? I dunno. I'm going through this phase that began a week ago. I think I have some spiritual homework to do - that's the best way to describe it. I miss "me". And just how do you do 'Spiritual Homework' you might ask? Easy. This can be accomplished through the following (if not all) methods:

Everyone has there own 'Spiritual Homework'. They just need to look at themselves from the inside out. Define yourself from the inside out. Understand what you've been through and how it makes you feel. It takes humility and courage (boat loads).

I miss creativity. Nothing satisfies me like good work. Work I care about.

Strange - I don't feel like getting wasted today!
Sad - I feel like I have to tonight. I hate the thought of "trying to party". Yeah yeah yeah it's New Year's Eve in New York - I really don't care. Here's my New Year's Eve wish: I wish we could all stop jacking ourselves off with our obsession with fame and glam. I wish all the movie execs in Hollywood would take all the millions of dollars they would spend on new movies with Tom Cruise or Jim Carrey or Angelina Jolie and DONATE ALL THAT MONEY TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUFFERED IN SOUTH ASIA!
It's ok - we can just watch re-runs on TV or rent classics from Netflix for a year - we can live through it. I wish that the music industry would just STOP - it's really bad. I wish George W Bush would do a complete 180 and expose the power wolves holding his strings and put into place a new world-wide system of economics that would benefit the poor, the hungry, the elderly, and the sick - all this right before he blows his brains out on live TV.

Chances are, that won't happen.
What will happen in 2005? More death in Iraq, Afghanistan, and South Asia.
More glam and glitter as we waste $10 trillion on our collective American ego.
More melting of the polar caps. More $3 meals of fried cancerous fat while fresh vegetables grow for free on land that I do not own.

New York is dead to me. I need to leave. And I will. This will happen in 2005.
Where to? Southern California. The traffic. The late-nite drive throughs. The smog. The sun. The Giant stores. The Parking Lots. The crowded Beaches. The CHP. Car Insurance....and some good friends, family, and my dog. What more could I ask for?

Some day - I'll go visit my old city that will always be my home: San Francisco. I'll go to Vesuvio's and get drunk sitting in the exact chair Jack Kerouac used to sit and get drunk in (I've done this. Many times). San Francisco just isn't there any more though. Everything is in the past. Amazing how we all try to live in the past (and it's just not there anymore).

Random thought I had today: I thought about making a documentary on "HEARTBREAK". It's history throughout humanity and interview as many people going through it for whatever reasons. Young and old. From death to cheating husbands to dying pets.

Go to Yahoo News and click on the News Photos and view a slide show of Iraq or the South Asia Tsunami. Then put on the song "SONG SUNG BLUE" by Neil Diamond (if you dont have it - let me know in the comments section)...

Song sung blue
Everybody knows one
Song sung blue
Every garden grows one

Me and you are subject to the blues now and then
But when you take the blues and make a song
You sing them out again
Sing them out again

Song sung blue
Weeping like a willow
Song sung blue
Sleeping on my pillow

Funny thing, but you can sing it with a cry in your voice
And before you know it, start to feeling good
You simply got no choice

Song sung blue
Everybody knows one
Song sung blue
Every garden grows one

Happy New Year! 2005


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